things are getting crazier each day. i'm trying to hold on but i'm slowly getting tired of the same fuckin' problems. i am ready to give up. if not for darrell, i would be home with my mom, with my family. if not for darrell, i would have given up a long time ago. i love all my kids but right now, darrell needs me and i know he has no future with his dad. i don't want him to grow up like his half sisters and half brothers who were raised differently. they might be beautiful(???) kids but, they sure did not have the values i am teaching my kids.

i may be mean but, this is my son we're talking about. i believe his dad can never raise him properly. he was not raised well and he cannot use darrell as a practice target in raising kids. he had his chance with 5 children(some of whom he's not too sure if he's the father). now, he's older and dumber, he thinks he's capable of raising my baby. OVER MY DEAD DECOMPOSING BODY!

i woke up late. i came late for work. i wanted to stay with my baby all day but it's just not possible. i didn't want to get in trouble. as it is, i am already worried that one day, i'll end up jobless, homeless and penniless. but, in everything that's happening, i know i'll be able to pull this through.

i might break down and cry for a month or a year but, nothing's gonna stop me from striving hard so i can be with my kids one day. i miss them so much and it breaks my heart to know that i'm incapacitated to see them at this time. i'm a prison to a foreign land. this is all my fault. i never stayed with one goal. it was always one plan after the other. i am now stuck in this predicament where all i can do is pray and hope that one day, my knight in shining armor will rescue me from the tall tower the evil witch built to isolate me from the world and bring me home to his palace with my kids waiting for me at the golden gate of happiness and eternal bliss.

my darrell is still sick. he's not drinking milk and he did not eat a lot today. my poor baby. i wanted to take him to the doctor but, he was fine in the afternoon after taking his medicines. he's sleeping now and i hope he'll be up and active tomorrow...

i have a strong feeling that i'll be in big trouble soon. i hope i can survive the ordeal that'll arrive. i just hope things are tolerable and not that destructive...

my baby's sick. waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! i was planning to go out with him and maybe go to the park or to the gym, perhaps. but we stayed home and bonded. his cheeks were flush red and he is just not the hyper darrell... his daddy was supposed to take him to aunt dianne's house but she never answered her phone so i had to change darrell's clothes back to his pj's.

i called my mom and talked to her for an hour and tried to catch up with all the events and happenings. i miss my family. i talked to tressa for a while. my darling sister is really a sweetheart...

i've been so tired these past few days. i go to the gym, hit the machines and die trying to force myself in getting used to them. i went the gym 3 days in a row. now, my butt and my legs are hurting, not to mention my arms.

i visited some brothers in newport beach. i met bro. lenz and his staff. it was always fun to talk to your people. i met his family, his lovely daughter, his 2 sons, his wife and his brother and nephew. he told me to feel free to visit them anytime. the thing is it's too far for me right now. i can't go there all the time...i don't even have gas to go to the gym sometimes.

i also found out that my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's sister is a bonafide member of my sorority already. am i happy? well, i can't do anything about it but, i just hope she treats the sorority as special as i do...

napapraning na ako ng todo-todo. bakit kamo? lahat na lang ng pinaghirapan ko, mawawala na lang ng walang kaabog-abog...trabaho ko, bahay na tinutuluyan ko, cellphone ko, computer ko. mababaw ata masyado kaligayahan ko at pati ang mga materyal na bagay ay pinahahalagahan ko. pero, alam ko, importante sila kasi may dahilan. una, yong trabaho ko, don ako kumukuha ng perang panggastos namin ng mga anak ko. sunod, yong bahay, inuupahan namin yong bahay, 2-bedrooms, ok naman. kung hindi ako tinuturing na anak nong may-ari, baka libo-libo ang upa namin doon. tapos, yong cellphone. yon ang bukod-tanging teleponong nagagamit ko pantawag sa mga kokonting kaibigan ko dito at madalas, yon ang gamit kong pantawag sa nanay ko at sa mga anak ko. sunod, yong computer. hindi sa nang-aangkin ako pero, regalo sa akin tapos babawiin. nasanay na mga tao sa pilipinas na online ako 24/7, lalo na nanay kong kahit kailan ako makita, excited pa rin ipa-on ang aking webcam...

ngayon, sabihin nyo nga sa akin kung saan ako naging mababaw???

my legs and my arms are still sore from training with erica last monday at the gym. i would just have to keep on going till i can't feel the pain anymore...no pain, no gain...train till you die. i don't want to waste my money paying for the membership. it doesn't make sense not to avail of it. every chance i get, i'll hit the gym...i might not reach my goal but, i'll keep on trying...

why can't i just be happy without people spoiling the fun??? WHYYYYYYYYY???

i don't know what's gonna happen. i don't know where i'll go. in a few weeks, there will be a total transformation in my life. i need to do some drastic action so i can have some kind of future. i need a place to live in that won't have psychos and i need a new job that won't have weirdos. my boss is selling the company and i'll lose my job, obviously. i am not in good terms with my baby's daddy so i need to leave soon so i'll have peace. when it rains, it pours...tsk tsk tsk tsk...

why is it that when you think you're ok, something or someone fucks it up? why is it that when you think everything is perfect, something or someone spoils it for you? one day, i must have answers to these questions. i can't always be questioning circumstances. i might not be able to provide answers later on.

for now, i will leave everything to fate...

here are the testimonials i got from my dear friends from friendster...i feel so good reading them...i know it's amazing to know that there are people who have faith in me...

Glenn 10/16/03
shala..hhhm...one of the greatest sis that i have! mataray na praning din..sabi nya "gago" sya eh. but she's unique in her own way..kaya nga one of the greatest eh...long live tau gamma phi/sigma...mabuhay triskelion!

Joy 10/17/03
she's my mommy even if i dont have a daddy and im older than her sister. she had me when she was 5yrs old (i think). i never really thought that we'll continue to be friends coz we are miles apart...she helps keep me sane and makes me laugh to forget all the negative chuvas in life. truly bading pero she's one hell of a lady who can proudly say..."been there, done that...and im a better person now" still wishing ur here mami...

Herpes 10/18/13
Kapag naririnig na ang name na "shala" tago kn,puta meron script yan na once u slap her kakaladkarin ka sa edsa...nyahahahahha!she's one of kind,very sweet,accomodating,and she's my "ate" sa channel since mas matanda sya sakin...hehehe!

Demonyo 10/18/03
SiS!!!!Ate shala "Diyosa ng kagandahan" ...mabait masarap kausap kausap kalog.Di pikon...isa sa mga ate hihihihi.Di ko pa sya nakikita pero gusto ko way ng pakikipagusap/pagaask nya pag kailangan nya ng help...di tulad ng iba sila na may kailangan sila pa yung akala mo kung sino.Napakabait nyan wag mo lang gagalitin...hihihi.TC olweiz SIS!!!GOD BLESS!!!hope 2 c u soon!!! ARRIBA TAU GAMMA PHI/SIGMA!!!!!!

Vance 10/20/03
sister!!heheh..pinaka ehemplo ng confidence!!! saan ka pa?? hehehe..shalaganda huh? ang nagiisang kapamilya ko nung naligaw ako kalipornya.sya ang taong nagbigay linaw na panahon na para harapin ang bukas..nyahahhaha..lalim yata ah..lol pinaka matalino sa lahat ng sigma na nakilala ko..hehehe..kelan ka nga sumali sigma sis?nung grad ka na? hahahaha.. basta, ito ang taong kapag wala kang kwenta at kailangan mo kausap, pagtatyagaan ka nya..ganun kalungkot buhay d2 no sis? eheheh.. basta ingats sister!! kita kits tayo ulit! kaso nde na tayo nakakapag inom huh? nde pa tayo nakapag inom d2!!!

Anna 10/21/03
tawagin mo yan ng..."SHALA"....sagutin nya ng "TAWAG MO DYOSA NG KAGANDAHAN?"...susme..laban ka pa ba naman dun eh sis yan....kya sasabihin mo sa sarili mo..."tangina buti n lang sis tong lukaret n to...hahahha!!!di p kami kita nyan personally but somehow..bukod sa pgiging sigma namin pareho..may special bonding kami nyan...and that's bcos malapit sya sa bunso kong si joyce....i still remember nung lady alexis p lang yan..pero ngayon...AS IN NGAYYYOOONNNN....hataw n ampotah!!!!hahahaha anyweiz,rosel is one of the rare specie(friend) sa mundo ko na nakaka catch up sa topak ko even online lang...she can be everybody's confidant...and be rest assured na di sya plastic pag nag advise...true yan....sis,salamt naging triskelion ka.

Ryan 10/21/03
ONE HECK OF A GURLLL!!! She unique coz labs ko sha. Pero ako i got no idea kung ni labs nya ko... she's special din kse lahat tinatarayan nya. Pero sa kabila ng lahat i miss u gurl. Miss ko na din kakulitan mo!

Meng 10/27/03
ROSELLE - words aren't enough to describe this strong-willed woman. Cliche, but true. Never turns her back on friends, never turns away from foes. Along with Agnes, or Tisay to some of you, they are the sisters I never thought I'd find. Our connection is deeper than that shared by friends, even by sisters. We are so much part of each other. The three of us is more like the Holy Trinity (I hope that's not blasphemy). Three individuals, one person. She may not know it, but I learned so much from this woman. One thing that I can't forget about her is our month-long road-tripping back in the year 1999. In that span of short time, we've gone through so much - hardships, laughter, tears, and most importantly, LIFE itself. When she went to the States, I lost a part of myself. Yes, we keep in touch through emails and chat, but it's not the same with spending time together. We used to be together 24/7, and we still can't get enough of each other. Parang magsyota no? Damn, I miss her so much (Maalaala Mo Kaya theme plays on the background). I can't wait till 2005 to see her again. Punyeta ka, bulikat.

Ekups 10/30/03
oi sis! mis na kita! im proud dahil ur one of the successful sis.. sa chapter! and actually di man lang sumagi sa sarili ko na maalala mo pa ako... siguro dahil na rin gwapot`pabling ako! hehehe! ganyan ang labanan ngayon patigasan! survival to the finest ba yun! to be serious na touch ako sa testimony mo! a-lang ya nambola ka pa! hehehe ...anyway! its a big honor para marinig ko sa isang kapatid ang ganyang comment ... kala ko hanggang basagan na lang ako ng mukha nakilala.. am-bait ko pala! wow! hehe! thnx a lot i love u and we love you! long live roaring "Tomadors of TAU GAMMA PHI ... AMACU-QC!!"

Lisette 11/01/03
si shala po ang aming Reyna, Dyosa ng mga dyosa..solid yon! hindi nga kami nagkaron ng chance maka-gimik pero ewan ko ba kung kami naging close. cguro kase kami nalang nila kambal at ambush ang natitirang normal d2 sa mundo hehehe basta the best si shala. matulunging babae at makulet! hehe hey sister! si ambush talga may gusto ng porno eh! mwwaaaahhh!!! lab you!

Papabitch 11/20/03
presenting, scott's very own... videoke queen.... anyway's kahet ayaw umamin, alam ko kung sino ang peborit nyan...

Dennis 11/22/03
konti lng lang wento mo sakin sis kaya mejo diko pa lam sasabihin ko.wel hirs my promise pero eto lng masasabi ko syo sis...istey kul tsaka be taf sa mga prablems mo. hmm.. si shala... cya yung isa sa mga nag treat sakin ng maganda sa chnnel sa dalnet...ambait sakin nyan cya nga hinihintay ko lagi para mabigyan ako ng voice sa chnnel.naiyak kaba sis?? musta moko kay rickey sabihin mo mag papa-ampon anko sa inyo ahahaha joke sis wak mo limot ah txt moko pag andto kana sa pinas promis mu yan dati bubusugin moko.hanep eh noh.. gawin bang email ang testimonial..hahaha!!:)

Ran 11/23/03
nang isilang ako sa mundong ito... laking tuwa ng ate ko... xe para narin shang nagsilang nun araw na iyon... tong ate kong to... napakaraming "M"... mabait... mapagmahal... mapagbigay... maloko... ma anak... masipag... matalino... may-asawa... marami- kaibigan... may-magulang... matanda... maganda...(mana sakin e!)... ma-open... ma-close... may-bahay... malapit-na- pumayat... makain... mapicture... at higit sa lhat... marami-nagmamahal... isa nako sa listahan... as a sister... mashado shang matalino... xe di nia ko pinagsasabihan... xe lam nman nia na lam ko na yung mga things na ginagawa ko e!... she's the "been-there-done- that" kinda woman xe e... kea... gnon... ilang beses man yan nagkamali noon... mahal ko paren sha... xe khit no mangyari skania... eto at bbangon ule yan! independiente la persona yan! walang makatatlo jan!... xa na cgro yun kaisa isang tao na klla ako ng buong buo!... mula sa pangalan hanggang sa mga secrets ko... since xa rin nman ang nagpangalan skin... hehehe!... pro khit ano pa yan! mahal na mahal ko yan! te! antayin mko! papunta nako jan! susubukan ko lutasin lhat ng poblema mo at ng family nten... mhal mhal kta te no matter wat!... dont 4get my pasalubomg,a?! hehehe! :) yngat ka lague!... hope to see you soon! luvu!:)

Tintin 11/24/03
c shala...hmmm...very good fren yan...da best nga e...lagi syang nandyan...ndi ka papabayaan...someone to lean on talaga...i love her talaga...lalo na pag dating sa love...galing magpayo...parang si joe d mango da best talaga

Karen 11/27/03
We've been friends and been apart for years, yet we always manage to find each other even on the other side of this world --- that must be fate! Yes, it’s true, she’s a Survivor (Selle, I know what you mean, I’ve been in somewhat similar situations diba!). She can be anywhere in this world or in any situation and still set her Goals and definitely knows what she wants. Nothing can crush her and definitely no one can discourage and step on her (I admire her for her strong qualities). At first, she may seem mataray, but once you get to know her, she will open the door for you and invite you in even to her family. I’m so happy for you and everything you’ve accomplished --- for having Ricky and 4 charming kids. I wish for your happiness and success. Cheers for the many many years to survive my friend!

Elainesvibe 11/28/03
amor powers to you... -madamme claudia

Merchii 12/02/03
ADMIRABLE. parang detergent yan e.. tough on dirt, gentle on skin. plus, she knows darn well when to give the "attitude" ;)

Joyce 12/08/03
si Roselle, mabait na kumare, kapitbahay, kapatid, kaibigan, ka- yosihan, kabatak, katoto lol:P kaya nga swerte ako kse dito ako napadpad sa tate nakilala ko sya... eh kung sa nigeria ako napadpad??? walang ana or roselle dun... edi nayari ako!!! lol basta sis, pag nanganak na ako order ulit ako sayo ng yosi ha hehe mura eh jk:P. maraming salamat sa lahat lahat... miss ko na si kewlet!!! see you soon...

Drel 12/10/03
Ang sis kong maganda at sexy...DYOSA NG KAGANDAHAN!!! siga,malambing n very down 2 earth!Namimiss ko na toh,kc ang kulit kulit nya sa tambayan,at ingay pa! hehehe...and whenever she goes to visit us sa tambayan,It’ll be a lot of fun for sure!too bad she went 2 US already,we miss u!hope u could come back here at pinas and pay us a visit! mishu!labyu sis!mwah! (paslubong ko ha?!?)

Kaye 1/06/04
i thnk nung 1st time kng nkta c shala sbi ko s sarili ko pucha ang taray nito pro nung nksma ko n sya dhl s ate ko sbi ko ang cool pla nitong sis na to.i remember nung natulog kmi s haus nya sobrang ala kming ginawang lahat kung d magchikahan.basta in short c shala ay machika.

Richelle 1/14/04
c shala po ang nag-introduce sa akin ng "videoke world"...hehehe addict sa videoke yan eh, lalo na noong magkakasama pa kami sa edsamail. at ciempre gud prend din yan, as in lagi kang hahalakhak kapg kasama cia. and wala ka rin aalalahanin kapag kasama mo yan kasi ipagtatanggol ko kanya sa kahit sinong siga sa daan. loving mom din c shala, kya nga sobrang swerte ng mga kids niya. she'll do everything for he kids. i miss u shala...mwah!

Joy 1/15/04
of course i need to write you another testimonial to celebrate yet another year that passed filled with lots of panlalait, laughter, and sentiments...all in the name of friendship. everybody should know that you're not only loving daughter and mommy but also a good friend (to the lucky us that you choose to be friends with). never afraid to say what's on her mind and never conscious of what others will say about her for the stupid things she does for as long as its for her family and friends. from her i learned that whatever makes you happy, you go for it. we make our own happiness =) still, wish you were here.

Shytype 1/23/04
sis shala!!!! hahahaha musta??? wala ako masabi sa kanya eh... cge bye... lol, bhiro lang sis, hmmm lam nyo kala ko dati mataray to kaya d ko pinapansin... hehehe, masama hindi rin ako pinansin, siguro pareho kami iniisip, [Lighter] p nick ko nun sis remember???? but although na ganun ang nangyari, i'm glad na i've met a sis like shala...yan si shala... d lang pampamilya... pang sorority pa....

Robert 2/21/04
dahil ikaw ang unang nag bigay sa akin ng testi... kaya ko sinusulat ito. Masaya kasama sa inuman at kainan. "Bato-Bato sa langit ang tamaan huwag magagalit ka Shala Ganda .." hindi na uubusan ng kwento. yan ang Shala na kilala ko!

Gan 3/6/04
Ito si SHALA (bukod sa chapter foundress) ang sis na may pinakamagandang kalidad sa kapatiran. Nasa kanya sana ang "alas" na sana nakapagbigay ng magandang palakad sa ibang mga pasaway ngayon. Marahil hindi narin ako makakarating sa aking napakasaklap na kapalaran kung nandito lamang siya. Promote better reforms and effective discipline sa Tau Gamma Sigma ng AMAQC!

Tau Gamma Phi 3/9/04
"We were born as a Triskelion, we live and will die as a Triskelion. A Triskelion will never die, but will multiply. No evil forces can block the way of a Triskelion, for once a Triskelion is always a Triskelion.."

Kaye 3/22/04
mama shala..that's how i call this lady. maalaga sya samin mga anak nya sa Edsamail. She's one of my few close friends na madaling makasundo. some people sees her as mataray pero sa totoo lang she's a nice and a loyal friend. one thing i admire about her is she is a strong willed person. kung ano gusto nya..gagawin nya..wa syang paki sa iba. but wathever man ang result, well...life goes on. Mis u shala lalo na ang mga kwentuhan natin together sa MRT and the bonding moments...muah!

weird that just last night, i was sobbing like crazy over some shallow emotions and today, i feel great. i guess we both came to our senses. i made a dumb mistake and he misunderstood. now, everything's okay. i know i can't be this stupid about love but, this is how i deal with my emotions. i have always been a heart person. when i fall, i fall hard. i don't know where this will lead me but, most likely, it will just give me heartaches in the future. but you see, i'm still holding on to whatever we have right now. a lot of things go through my mind when i think of him but, as they say, when you're with that someone, all you see are roses in full bloom and all you feel is warmth from the shining sun. in this day and age, i believe i deserve some fun in my life. i know i have responsibilities and obligations but, i will only pass this road once. i might as well play the game and be good at it. i might end up crying but, with everything that i experienced in my life, i am not afraid to take the risk with this person. right now, i don't care what the future brings. all i know is that i'm happy and i'm thankful that i have someone like him who i can talk to about practically anything and everything. he can be mean sometimes but, i guess i couldn't care less. he makes me laugh, smile, smirk and cry but, it's all good. he better take care of me so i wouldn't cry anymore but in life, you can't be sure of anything that occurs. one day at a time, and as he usually tells me, it's not the end of the world. i believe him but, when you're so much into someone, you would want to be with him 24/7...high school kind of emotion at 29...well...

i miss someone... i will never forget that person. why do i fall for people who leave me crying? this is my fault. i did not trust my instincts. it was so obvious that i have fallen hard but, i guess it was just not meant to be...

I Miss You Like Mad
by Tyrese

Going out of my mind,
Keep thinking about you.
Keep wondering when I'll see you again.
Can't believe that you're gone,
Everything's all wrong,
Thought that I can live without your love.
But it's just not true,
I'm no where without you,
I would die if I'm without your touch.
It hurts my heart so bad,

And I miss you like mad,
Like crazy, crazy, and I need my arms around you baby,
'Cuz it's hurting so bad.
Please save me.
Say that you'll take me back,
'Cuz I miss you like mad.

Need you back in my life,
I'm so lost without you,
Baby nothing feels right,
Crying shamelessly at night.
Keep asking myself, how was I so wrong?
Thought that I could make it on my own.
But there's just no way I can take this heartache,
And the thought of one more night alone
Makes my heart so sad,

And I miss you like mad,
Like crazy, crazy, and I need my arms around you baby,
'Cuz it's hurting so bad.
Please save me,
Say that you'll take me back,
'Cuz I miss you like mad.

I would give anything to get you back,
I would do anything you ever ask,
All my world is in your hands,
Give me one more chance,

'Cuz I miss you like mad!
Like crazy, crazy, and I need my arms around you baby,
'Cuz it's hurting so bad.
Please save me,
Say that you'll take me back,
'Cuz I miss you like mad.

i am really so confused right now. i have so many problems and i don't have enough resources to solve them.
it is really hard to survive without any experience in surviving. it's like going to war without ammunitions. it's like skydiving without a parachute. i don't have anything to protect me from mosquito bites and bee stings. right now, i'm in this predicament when all i can do is wait(dumdidumdidumdidumdidumdidum...)

i hated myself when i did not object to my family when they told me i needed to go to the States. I don't hate my family, though. i just hated the idea that i wasn't ready when they sent me here. i was not geared up. now, i have a darrell who doesn't even know what's going on with his parents and who is not even aware of the chaos that's happening around him.
this is all my fault. i could've stayed with my silly-ass job and get sponsored instead of taking that big leap towards a situation i never knew would make my life like hell.

i thought things will be fine for me and my kids when i met this knucklehead dirty old man(man, i'm so rude, huh?-read on, you'll understand). at first, of course, everything was great. he told me what his life was before he met me. this is the first time i'm gonna let this be known to my "people." i just don't want people to be misinformed about the man i am with. it is hard for me but, i believe this will give me a lighter load afterwards. i am just in the bridge of breaking down and going crazy. the man i am with is a parolee. he has been in and out or prison for the longest for dealing and using drugs. from his story, he started young because obviously, he needed to have money for he has a handful of children. he got greedy until he just went on and on without fearing prison time. all he wanted was the "cheese." i really did not pay attention to his past but, as i went on with the relationship, i noticed he is still the same person that he was when he was still with his "bitch." since his common wife treated him bad-cheated on him, fooled him, lied to him-he started seeing me as such. he controlled every little thing in the house--from the money that i spend for food, for myself, for the house and to the clothes that i wear, the people that i talk to, the places we go to, the things i do. he would have a fit if he sees me in JEANS. he would yell at me if he sees me wearing a skirt. he would curse me out if i decide to go to a club with my friends or have dinner with the girls.

everybody knows that when someone locks me in a cage, i find a way to escape. i was a natural-born rebel. if you stop me, the more i'll push on doing it. if you impose rules on me, i'll definitely won't follow them. he had the right approach when we were just starting. but, when i realized that he was trying to control me, i started to drift away from him. i started to contradict everything that he wanted. i wanted to show him that i am not gonna give in to his wishes. i may be his "bitch" but, i'm not his SLAVE. i started to take care of my business. i took care of myself and my family, especially my kids against his will. i kept my own money and spent them the way i pleased. i stopped doing things for him. i realized that i live in a country where men should know how to treat the women in the house fairly. i work 5 days a week and being a woman doesn't mean i need to be loaded with things to do for the house. i admit, i am a very lazy person. he's lucky that i used to do things in the house but, when i thought about it, i told myself to stop, rethink things and go on with my life. i will not stink if i don't wash his clothes. i will not starve if i don't cook for him. i will not get sick if i don't clean after him. as my grandma puts it, "no one dies from being filthy..." he curses me every freakin' day. i don't care. what i know is that i don't neglect my baby. i don't care about him anymore. i admit, i used to but, because he's an insane, overjealous son of a bitch, i will never last another month putting up with his shit.

i have my issues and problems but, i believe that i m still a normal person who just made a huge mistake. i want to fix it as soon as possible but, i am concerned that i might lose my youngest son. in this fuckin' country, they never value the basic unit of the society. all they want is for thier freakin' laws to be implemented on people.

i hope i get settled before i go crazy, or before i lose my mind. in this day and age, men are supposed to be equal with women but, i guess because the man i'm with right now is almost as old as "kopong-kopong," he is still a chauvinistic pig.

i believe in KARMA. what goes around, comes around. that would be the happiest day of my life when he gets what he deserves. in a few months, i should be able to get things done for me and my Darrell and hopefully for my Luis, Jom and Tyrone... and of course, "AKIN PA RIN ANG HULING HALAKLAK!!!" (i still have the last laugh)

i wanted to share everything to my "people." i don't know where to start. joy told me to update my blog since the last time i wrote something was around Christmas time. according to mama bing, my blogs are full of drama. here goes nothing...

bally fitness
i am a very lazy girl, and everybody is aware of that but all of a sudden, i enrolled in a gym. i enrolled for 12 sessions with a personal trainer(her name is erica) and a lifetime membership for full access to gym facilities and different locations as well. i am on my 3rd week now and i am hoping that this will work for me. i want to enjoy life while i can. i want to be fit for my children. as they say, i want to be able to play with my grandkids. i am 29 years old turning 49. i feel that my body needs some exercise and toning. i weigh 1,000 lbs. and i think it's time for me to be conscious of my health. especially now that i live in a burger and fries world. erica trains me every monday and i work out on wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. i am also planning to enroll in yoga classes as well as some dance classes. i hope this will bring some good in me.

trans city medical group
i've been working for a medical group and sometimes, i get tired doing the same thing over and over again. my table is a mess though i usually finish things on time. i get so disappointed with the salary thinking that i do a lot of things and yet, i get a very small salary. but, since i can't complain and fight for it, i stay. i stay for the purpose of having little money to support myself and my kids. i am drawing out a plan as to where i can quit this job and be in a better place. i hope things work out for me so i'll be well-compensated. i'm getting tired of being the underdog in someone's land. this is so unfair! but as my mom said, there's nothing i can do but wait and pray that i'll have blessings so one day, i can get the right job, the right house, the right partner and the peaceful life with my kids.

i am experiencing so many trials and issues right now. i can't even concentrate with my work and i find it so hard to be calm and at peace. one day soon, i know everything will come into place. all i have to do is wait and let nature take its course...long story...