CHRISTMAS- a Santa-given occasion for children, like my boys and children at heart, like me. This is my most favorite holiday. I am not so big with other occasions but, when it's Christmas, I make sure I show the people how special this is for me--whether they like it or not. I usually make up my list in the middle of November--gifts, xmas cards, aginaldo, etc. I get so excited just seeing the names of the ascloseasthis people in my life in the list to send out cards and something something.

Christmas starts early for me because I wanted my family to get their gifts before Christmas. I start shopping for things early November. However planned my shopping agenda is, I always forget something and I always run short of money. Last year, I sent a box to my family. I packed it so good no ant can even get inside. My dad was the one who opened it. This year, we lost my Dad. It sucked…Christmas won’t be the same anymore. It was too depressing for everyone. I kindda lost interest in Christmas and other special occasions. I planned on saving money to send to my Mom, siblings and kids. I just didn’t feel like shopping and getting all pepped up for my most favorite holiday in the world. But, October came and my Mom told me that the kids would rather get gifts than money. I stared at my Dad’s picture and talked to him. I asked him if I was ready for this. I started shopping for my kids, my Mom, my siblings, my relatives, my friends…I shopped till I literally dropped. I filled up 2 boxes…to send and, another box to fill up since there were other items that could not fit in the first 2 boxes. I was the happiest when I finally sealed the boxes and told my Mom that it’ll be there before Christmas. My oldest son, Luis, counted the days religiously. I felt so good knowing that I did something for them even if I’m thousand of miles away from them. A pair of shoes for an uncle, a purse for an aunt, a blouse for a friend, lip glosses for my baby sister—little things to remind them of me. Whether they use it or not, the important thing is that I sent them something to make them feel special.

Other cultures or other people don’t understand this. Some people don’t understand why I do so much for people at this time of the year. I don’t need to defend myself. What I know is that Christmas is a very good time to reach out to the people you hold special in your heart.

During this time of the year, I would reflect on everything that happened, bad or good. I would think of those oh so many sleepless nights and those oh so grouchy mornings that I was able to handle perfectly.

This is my second Christmas away from home. I miss my family, especially the Christmas dinners at my grandma’s house. But, in time, I am hoping to be home for Christmas…