i guess i need to sort out my feelings and my emotions. i find it so hard to just sit and think. there is always a distraction whenever i start to evaluate the things that are happening to me. first, i need to set my priorities straight. i can't be too slefish on things. i know i am hurting some people and i know it's not good. but, things are very hard to explain. as the cliche' goes, if i could just move mountains, i would. right now, i don't have much resources to even attempt to go near the mountain. my kids are my precious belongings. they should be here with me, with their youngest brother. but, because things didn't turn out good, i have to seek help from another person to help me with my situation.

i lost the game. i can't believe i'd be hurting like this but, i guess things happen for a reason. i might be hurting today but, for sure, one day soon, i'll get up on my feet and start walking towards progress...for my kids, for my mom, for my sister and my brothers. i can't let them down, especially my pudra who's playing golf with st. peter as we speak...